While He Will

You sigh as you hear those footsteps coming down the hall. Another night with a toddler boy kicking you in the back resulting in little to no sleep. Five minutes later, he rolls over and grabs your face and begins to talk. Ugh. You decide to just get up. It is 2:00 AM, and you are so tired. The irritability tries to set in, but you remind yourself he is little and doesn’t know better. You grab him up, take him into the living room, turn on cartoons and you begin to rock. You rock and rock, and soon begin to rock yourself to sleep. He taps you and says, “No, Mommy. Sing.” You sigh again. So many wasted breaths, and for what? No reason other than you are grumpy and upset at the very thing you will miss most when this little boy is all grown up.

You begin to sing. He leans his head up, touches your face again, and this time when he talks he says, “I love you, Mommy.” That is when it hits you. These moments are it. These moments he needs you. He CHOOSES you. He chooses YOU. As you ponder the thought of what that means, he goes on chattering to you in the chair while silent tears run down your cheeks.

Time goes on and never slows down.

He is running around outside playing. He falls and scrapes his knee. “Mommy kiss it.” You bend down obediently. He runs to his swing. “Push me.” So demanding, you think. What if I want to sit down? Then, as soon as the thought hits, you push it away because once again you are reminded that he is choosing you.

We are chosen for this life.

If you are a Mommy, God chose you to do this job because you are able and because your child needs you while he is young; however, little boys grow to toddlers grow to preteens and from there they turn into teenagers and then adults. These stages bring many changes, but the biggest change of all is a tough one. Pretty soon there will be a pretty girl who comes along and catches your little boy’s eye. He will do everything he can to get her attention. He will call her, send her flowers, push her on a swing, and if they marry he will sit with her in his lap in the chair. Maybe even the very chair you rocked him in as a baby. When this happens you will be reminded of all those sighs as you sigh once more. Only this sigh is different. You aren’t sighing because you are realizing he needs you. You aren’t sighing because you realize these moments end. You are sighing because your little boy is grown up and he has crossed the line from choosing you to choosing her. The line is almost invisible. His steps towards it are gradual, but they are there all the same. Even at this very moment when you are holding him and stealing butterfly kisses and rubbing his small little hands. He is getting closer and closer to that line, so I say all that to say this.

Don’t sigh out of irritation or anger. Don’t sigh from being upset he woke to be with you in the middle of the night. Don’t sigh from the bad dreams and booboos you have to kiss. Snuggle because he asks. Play with him because he wants his Mommy to play. Do all the small things he wants, and most importantly remember he is choosing you. Let him choose you now, as much as he will, because sooner or later, he won’t.