Double-Sided

Don't judge yourself based on the "perfect" lives of others.

Even glass houses have hidden corners.

We have all had moments where we see those perfect, happy people who seem to have everything going for them and who get everything right. Most of us have probably used those same people as examples to size ourselves up. Keeping up with the Joneses is real, and trying to achieve the same life as your neighbor will only cost you to waste your wanting something that is a lie. Yep, that's right. There is no such thing as a person who as it all because the one who did, died a long time ago for our sins.

This whole idea of judging yourself because of how you see others is the main reason I started this blog. Let me explain.

On the flipside

You ever see those posts of people who have shiny surfaces in their photos, and they are talking about how good their lives are? Sometimes, they may truly be immaculately clean, but more often than not, if their camera were to flip, you'd see a sink with some dirty dishes, a playroom with toys on the floor, or a less than stellar living room. The truth is, if you are living, there will be messy bits. Those messy pieces just so happen to be the parts people don't want to show. Why would they? They don't want to be judged. Glass houses, right? Well, I'm here to tell you that we don't necessarily need to normalize a messy house, but we need to normalize not comparing ourselves, and on the flipside, not just posting the side of life that will make others feel as if they are doing something wrong.

On the left is my freshly cleaned living room. I was so proud. I could have just posted that and said, "Look at my clean living room!" Someone probably would have seen it and felt guilty that they haven't had a chance to clean yet. On the right, is directly behind the couch in the other photo. Just a little angle of the camera and you'd have seen this in that photo. No matter how clean, how pretty, how nice a person's life, story, Instagram story looks, there is always another angle. There will always be more that isn't being shared. Do I want my table cleaned off? Yes, and I plan to clean it in a bit when I have time, but I don't want to make a point to only share the good stuff. I want others to see that it's okay to not have it all together all the time. It's okay if there is a little mess, whether that is a physical mess like you see on my table or that is a metaphorical mess because nothing seems to be happening as it should.

Share the successes but also share the fails

As humans, we mess up. We have moments we neglect to clean the junk drawer out (I hate it). We have times we don't spend enough time with our kids. There are times we forget things and end up feeling like we have done nothing but screw up over and over again for a whole day, a week, heck, even a year sometimes.

A lot of times, we are the reason others feel this way, and we don't even realize we are doing it. By sharing just your successes, you are leaving out some of the most important moments of life. That toy room is messy right now because you have kids who you provide for and who love that they have a room stocked for their entertainment. Those dishes are dirty because you chose to spend an extra hour with your kids outside rather than sending them to their rooms to play. Maybe you don't have kids but you just lost out on a big promotion because you didn't answer your questions as competently as you could have while neighbor Jim just got a big promotion for a different company, but you have a happy spouse who is proud of you no matter what and Jim's wife just left him. I'm not saying this to be a bummer or to judge Jim's hypothetical character. I'm saying this because we often don't think about the other side. Everyone has successes AND failures. Everyone has clean AND messy bits. Everyone has something they aren't proud of, but usually you only get to see the shiny clean parts. But remember, you often find the greatest moments of life in the messy bits. Sometimes you just have to dig a little to truly see the blessings underneath.